Transfer, Pregnant and a Miscarriage
Julie S’ Surrogacy Journey Vol. 5
Here’s an overdue update on my journey! On April 12th we had a very smooth embryo transfer. We transferred one embryo. The intended parents accompanied us and my husband and I spent the rest of the day laying in our hotel room. It’s always such a surreal moment when the embryo is implanted. After the transfer is a long, agonizing wait until the blood test.
I received a positive pregnancy test 11 days after the embryo transfer, and my intended parents couldn’t have been happier. I had a good feeling that I was pregnant and had taken several HPTs (although my IPs wanted to wait for the official beta hCG). I was so excited for them to know what I already knew!
On the day of the testing, I drove to the lab first thing in the morning. The lab results were ready in about 30 minutes so I hurried back to retrieve them. I took a picture of my results and sent them along with the picture all the pregnancy test I had been taking to my IPs via text. I asked them to call me when they were done crying/celebrating! We had a good chat, they were still in shock. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my own children, it’s just such a “wow” moment. I was and still am so happy for them that it was a successful transfer. I could hardly wait for the first ultrasound, which followed 10 days later (or whenever it was.)
Fast forward a bit. All my ultrasounds were great, sweet baby was measuring right on track, if not ahead. I experienced all the normal pregnancy symptoms and my body decided not to tolerate any meat starting at about 8 weeks. I continued medication until I was 12 weeks pregnant at which point I got the e-mail from the clinic that said I could stop all meds! I made it! No more shots!
The next week, we had our meeting with the perinatalogist (A subspecialty of obstetrics concerned with the care of the fetus and has special training in testing and pregnancy related complications.) to go over perinatal testing and also to do an ultrasound on the baby. This is a standard test I’ve had done with first two surro babies I carried. My IPs came to this appointment while my husband played with our children at a nearby park. We spoke with the genetic counselor for about a half an hour and went over what kinds of testing my IPs had done prior to creating their embryo. After that was done, I went in for my ultrasound.
It was at this ultrasound that we had found out the baby’s heart had stopped beating. Sweet baby was measuring 13 weeks, and I was only 12w3d pregnant so it must have just happened. It was very heartbreaking and I can’t imagine how hard it was for my IPs who were in the room with me. The hugged me so hard and I will always cherish the sweet words they said to me during this terrible time.
This was my first miscarriage ever and I had a million different emotions all at once. I’ll spare you the details of every emotion, but just know that I was a rollercoaster for many days. Maya, our incredible therapist, was available to speak with me as soon as I was ready. I called her 4 or 5 days after we found out. I told her I wanted to be able to make it through a sentence without sobbing before I called her. Speaking with her helped me process so many feelings and also speaking with my surro sisters who have experienced a loss helped immensely. The support I felt during this time was incredible. As shocking as the loss was, my case manager was the first person I told and she was so incredibly wonderful. In such a time of total sadness, Abundant Beginnings was completely there for me.
My biggest fan, Adam, supporting me when I had the D&C surgery on June 27th.
Following the miscarriage, I had to have many different blood tests tone to check for all sorts of issues that perhaps could have caused a miscarriage. All came back negative, so if you’re wondering what happened, we don’t know. Baby was perfect, my body was perfect, it just happened. Things happen that we can’t control. Just because most surrogates have not experienced a miscarriage doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I had to process all my emotions and remember and while this was a terrible thing to go through, I am ready to try again ASAP.
My trusty uterus jumped right back into action after this loss. I got my period 4 weeks after the d&c and then went to the REs office to have a hysteroscopy. This is a procedure where the doctor uses a camera to look inside of my uterus. She was looking for any sort of scaring from the d&c procedure. My uterus looked great and I was left with instructions to continue birth control for 1 more week and to call them when my period started so I could start cycle meds! I got my period the next week and went back for my baseline ultrasound. Everything looked great at that appointment so I started 2mg of estrogen twice daily to prepare for a September transfer!
As for what’s next… we have another embryo transfer scheduled for September 12th! Please be thinking of us during this time and check back for an update next week!