Let’s Talk About One of the Most Common Misconceptions Out There
Have you ever heard someone say, “She’s only doing it for the money” when talking about surrogates? If so, you’re definitely not alone. This assumption comes up all the time, in casual conversations, online forums, and unfortunately, even in how the media portrays surrogacy. But here’s the thing: this widespread belief doesn’t match the reality of what actually motivates women to become surrogates. Let’s dig into where this myth comes from and uncover what really drives these incredible women to help families achieve their dreams.
Where This Myth Actually Comes From
You know how it is with the media, they love a sensational story. When a magazine claims a Hollywood couple spent “up to $200,000” on surrogacy, it’s easy to picture every penny going straight into the carrier’s pocket. Those splashy stories about high-profile arrangements create misleading impressions about what typical surrogacy compensation actually looks like. In reality, that six-figure total covers agency fees, IVF cycles, lawyers, insurance, and travel, while the surrogate receives only a slice of the pie. Typical U.S. compensation for first-time gestational carriers runs about $35,000 to $60,000 (more for experienced carriers), inside an overall journey that can cost intended parents $60,000 to $150,000 or more.
Then there are the movies and TV shows that make surrogacy seem like a simple business transaction, woman needs money, couple wants baby, deal done. But anyone who’s actually been through the surrogacy process knows it’s so much more complex and meaningful than that.
When you examine what surrogate compensation actually covers, the “money-motivated” assumption becomes less credible.
What Compensation Covers:
- Significant time commitment of 12-15 months
- Physical and emotional demands of pregnancy
- Medical risks and lifestyle adjustments
- Lost wages during medical appointments and recovery
- Various pregnancy-related expenses
What Compensation Doesn’t Cover:
- A baby (the child belongs to the intended parents from conception)
- “Easy money” (surrogacy requires substantial personal commitment)
- A simple transaction (the process involves deep emotional investment)
Rather than representing a purely financial exchange, surrogacy compensation supports women through a meaningful personal commitment that extends far beyond any monetary consideration.
The Real Motivations Behind Surrogacy
Research consistently shows that women who become surrogates are driven by multiple motivations, with altruistic desires typically ranking highest. Many surrogates express that they genuinely love being pregnant and want to share this experience with families who cannot carry their own children. This desire to help others achieve parenthood often stems from personal fulfillment in creating families, empathy for couples struggling with infertility, and the meaningful opportunity to make a lasting impact on someone’s life.
The surrogacy journey frequently creates relationships that extend far beyond the pregnancy itself. Many surrogates develop lasting bonds with intended parents that evolve into lifelong friendships, while connections with fellow surrogates provide unique understanding and support throughout the process. All relationships are different, and the surrogates know this entering into the journey. As an agency, Abundant Beginnings does their best to manage expectations and to facilitate consistent and clear communication amongst all involved.
While financial compensation is certainly a practical consideration, testimonials and research consistently demonstrate it’s rarely the primary motivation. With our many years of experience interviewing women interested in becoming gestational carries, we have found that rarely is financial gain the main motivation. We never hide the fact that compensation for the surrogacy journey helps their families, whether it is savings for the future, paying off debt, creating college funds for their own children, or using the $$ to go back to school to further their own education. Fair compensation recognizes the significant contribution surrogates make while supporting them through a substantial personal commitment.
Safeguards That Ensure Healthy Motivations
Professional surrogacy agencies implement comprehensive screening processes specifically designed to ensure appropriate motivations and protect all parties involved. This evaluation includes:
Key Screening Components:
- Medical assessments reviewing pregnancy history and current health status
- Psychological evaluations examining motivations and emotional readiness
- Financial stability requirements ensuring candidates aren’t driven by financial desperation
- Background checks and reference verification
- Assessment of family support systems
The screening process specifically verifies that surrogacy wouldn’t serve as a primary source of income and assesses overall financial stability independent of surrogacy compensation. Reputable agencies maintain ethical standards through transparent, predetermined compensation structures that eliminate bidding wars, clear fee breakdowns ensuring all parties understand costs, and standardized benefit packages that provide fair treatment for all surrogates.
Additionally, professional surrogacy arrangements include important safeguards such as separate legal representation for surrogates and intended parents, ongoing counseling support throughout the process, and comprehensive contracts that protect everyone’s interests while maintaining clear expectations.
ABC Surrogacy’s Approach to Fostering Genuine Motivations
ABC Surrogacy (Abundant Beginnings Company) was founded by Julie Allgood and Nicole Lawson, who bring over 30 years of combined experience in all aspects of the surrogacy process. Their comprehensive understanding of the journey from multiple perspectives has shaped an approach that prioritizes relationships and ensures financial considerations support, rather than drive, the surrogacy relationship.
The agency creates a “family first” culture where surrogates, intended parents, and staff function as a supportive team throughout the journey. This approach includes comprehensive medical, legal, emotional, and logistical support, with a focus on building lasting relationships rather than completing transactions. The success of this approach is evident in the hundreds of families worldwide who have achieved their dreams through ABC Surrogacy, demonstrating that compassionate motivations create enduring success.
ABC Surrogacy’s thorough matching process pairs surrogates and intended parents based on compatibility and shared values, facilitating ongoing communication throughout the journey while celebrating milestones that honor the emotional significance of the process. Post-delivery support maintains these relationships beyond birth, reinforcing that surrogacy represents much more than a financial arrangement.
What Research Reveals About Surrogate Motivations
Studies examining surrogate motivations consistently find that multiple factors drive the decision to become a gestational carrier, with altruistic desires ranking among the top reasons. Research indicates that the desire to help others achieve parenthood typically ranks as the primary motivation, while financial compensation usually appears third or fourth in importance. Personal fulfillment, sense of purpose, and previous positive pregnancy experiences frequently inspire participation in surrogacy programs.
When surrogates describe their experiences, common themes emerge that highlight the complexity of their motivations. Many express love for pregnancy and desire to help others experience parenthood, describe how witnessing intended parents meet their baby provides fulfillment that transcends any financial consideration, and explain feeling compelled to use their natural abilities to help others achieve their family dreams.
The reality of surrogate motivation proves far more complex and meaningful than the “money-motivated” myth suggests. Multiple factors typically influence the decision to become a surrogate, with altruistic desires consistently ranking among the highest priorities. Financial stability requirements actually protect against money-driven decisions, while the ongoing relationships that develop demonstrate the depth of emotional investment involved in the surrogacy journey.
Moving Forward: Changing the Conversation
The myth that surrogates are motivated solely by financial gain significantly undervalues the profound generosity and compassion that actually drives most women to become gestational carriers. While fair compensation plays an important practical role, it represents just one component of a complex decision rooted in the desire to help others, personal fulfillment, and the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in someone’s life.
At ABC Surrogacy, our experience with hundreds of surrogacy journeys consistently reinforces the fundamental altruism that motivates these remarkable women. When you choose to work with Abundant Beginnings Company, you join a community dedicated to supporting families through one of life’s most meaningful journeys, creating the opportunity for others to experience the joy of parenthood.