The journey of surrogacy is often talked about in terms of matching, medical prep, and pregnancy, but what happens after delivery? Many people are curious about the emotions, recovery, and reflections that come after a surrogate gives birth.
In this blog, we’re honored to share a candid conversation with Holly, a surrogate who recently delivered a healthy baby for an amazing family. Her perspective is both heartfelt and helpful, for anyone considering surrogacy or simply wanting to understand the journey more deeply.
How did you feel in the days leading up to delivery?
The days leading up to delivery were fantastic because I had a planned cesarean section. I felt a mix of calmness and excitement. Everything was going according to plan. My appointments were going smoothly, and I managed to stay active throughout the entire pregnancy. I vividly recall going for a 3-mile run ( more like a jog) the day before my delivery, feeling strong and ready to bring a beautiful baby into this world!
Q: Was this delivery similar to or different from your own past births?
With my son, I opted for a cesarean section so we agreed to have a repeat cesarean section. The delivery went smoothly, and baby girl was born at 11:03 am on June 5th! The most significant difference in this delivery was the overwhelming desire to ensure everything was perfect for the intended parents. I wasn’t concerned about myself this time. Instead, I focused on the parents’ experience.
Q: What was it like seeing the intended parents meet their baby?
Seeing the intended parents with their baby is a feeling that is hard to put into words. I couldn’t truly grasp the feeling until I got home and had time to reflect. I was able to bring a beautiful healthy baby girl into this world for another family. Most people can’t say that but I can! My kids are the greatest thing to ever happen to me so being able to give that feeling to another family is priceless.
Q: What advice would you give to someone considering surrogacy?
One piece of advice I would give someone is to understand that surrogacy is truly a journey. It’s a journey of highs and lows. Don’t let the lows overshadow the highs. Enjoy all the little moments of the journey because it goes by fast.
Q: Is there anything you wish you had known before the journey?
I wish I had known that not everyone will agree with your decision to become a surrogate. I suppose I was naïve to the fact that some people won’t consider it the greatest thing someone can do. Prepare for some strange looks and even crazier questions! Also, IVF is challenging. I underestimated the difficulty of taking IVF medication for months.
Q: Would you do it again? Why or why not?
I would be honored to complete another journey for a family. I feel like I was lucky enough to have a great pregnancy without complications. The feeling of bringing a baby into this world for someone else is a feeling that was utterly amazing!
Q: How has this experience changed you?
This experience has made me realize how fortunate I was to conceive naturally. Many people need surrogates for various reasons, such as same-sex couples or couples who face challenges in conceiving on their own. I wish people discussed surrogacy more openly. I proudly share my journey with anyone who’s willing to listen, hoping it can help someone else. This experience has also made me appreciate my body and all it can do. At six weeks postpartum, I’m still able to produce milk that I ship weekly to my belly bud. It’s truly amazing how incredible the female body is!
Q. What was your relationship like with your IPs during the journey? And/or what do you hope for now that the journey is complete?
I had a great relationship with my IPs and still have an awesome relationship with them. This wasn’t their first journey so I felt lucky to be able to lean on them for answers about how this journey will go. My IPs want an open relationship which is something I want as well. I get weekly pictures and updates on the baby. I’m hoping to get together at least once a year with our families. My kids are already asking when they can see their belly bud again. I love that my IPs allowed my kids to be a part of our journey too!