Why I Chose Surrogacy Over Adoption
By Nicole Lawson (Co-Owner of Abundant Beginnings Company)
Surrogacy and adoption are two paths that individuals or couples can take to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents. While both options are amazing, I personally chose surrogacy. There is no right or wrong or one is better than the other, and the choice can only be made by the individual or couple.
My Journey Towards Surrogacy
I recall a number of times throughout my infertility journey, people saying, “oh just adopt.” I thought about it and did a ton of research. Ultimately, I wanted to try to have my own genetic child, and if not I was still ok utilizing an Egg Donor, but wanted the guarantee and control of working with a surrogate to help us become parents.
In the end, the most important thing was knowing I would have a baby in my arms. Working with a family formation attorney, I was reassured that my husband and I would legally be this child’s parent and the baby was coming home with us. I had been through so much already with so much loss and unexplained infertility, that I did not want the heartbreak of not being chosen through the adoption process or any issues coming up after the birth. Surrogacy felt more comfortable for me and my family.
Control and Involvement in Surrogacy
In some ways, surrogacy can offer more control and involvement throughout the pregnancy journey. Unlike adoption, where prospective parents often have limited information about the birth mother’s health or prenatal care, surrogacy allows for close monitoring and participation in every step of the pregnancy process. This level of involvement provided peace of mind and reassurance during what can be an emotionally hard time. I also worked with an agency that was able to guide us through the process, and because they were experienced personally and professionally, it provided even more comfort to our family.
Additionally, surrogacy offers a greater degree of certainty compared to adoption. With adoption, there is always a risk that birth parents may change their minds or legal complications may arise during the process. Surrogacy contracts provide a legally binding agreement between all parties involved, minimizing potential uncertainties and ensuring a smoother path toward parenthood.
The Importance of Personal Choice
I believe that every individual or couple should have the freedom to choose what feels right for them when it comes to starting a family. While adoption is an admirable choice that provides loving homes for children in need, surrogacy aligns better with some. The financial burden is high with surrogacy, and this may also be a factor as to why some choose adoption. There is no right or wrong here, just different choices.
Celebrating the Role of Surrogates
The most important thing is in the end that it is a person’s choice. It is also the surrogate’s choice to help someone in this way. Having worked in the surrogacy field now for almost 14 years, seeing these amazing women who agree to carry for others is a blessing beyond words. What a miracle she is doing for others, and in return it is helping her family. I honestly compare a surrogate to a doctor helping someone who is sick. Why should I be childless just because I was born with a messed up uterus. My surrogate helped me, gave me hope, and allowed me to become a mom.
Ultimately, each person’s choice between these two options should be respected as they embark on their journey towards parenthood.